Due to various factors, couples may find themselves trapped in a negative cycle from which they struggle to escape. Couples counselling may assist them to break away from the negative cycle and recreate a positive cycle instead.

Couples counselling requires commitment from both individuals. It is not an easy process and requires conscious effort to make the necessary changes in behaviour. It also requires continuous effort to sustain these changes. If continuous effort is not put in, the couple may be at risk of falling back into the old negative cycle. I always give a 100% during any therapy process, however the chances of a successful outcome is determined just as much by the couple’s willingness to cooperate, as it is by the therapist.

When should a couple go for couple’s therapy?

If you have read this far, then the answer is NOW. So many times I see couples that have waited until the very last moment to consult a professional – they see couples therapy as a last resort, after they have exhausted all other options. This puts a lot of pressure on the therapy process and even on the therapist to “fix” the relationship. The reality is however, that the more damage has been done to the relationship already, the harder it is to repair. If you are wondering as to when you should consult someone for couples therapy – the answer is ‘sooner rather than later’.

After the initial intake session with a couple, one or more individual sessions are usually recommended. The process may also include various assessments if indicated. I often recommend that a couple entering therapy should do the Hermann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI) assessment. The results of this assessment help individuals to understand their own thinking processes and behaviour, as well as their partner’s, a lot better. It helps them to realise and accept each other’s differences. I have had very successful results when making use of the HBDI during couples processes.

I provide marriage and couples counselling from an interactional framework using Interactional Pattern Analysis (IPA).